Ashley Tucker talks about maintaining perspective as a mother no matter what life throws her way.
We have all had them right? That moment when you look up and wonder why? Why are things going the way they are? Why me? Or better yet, how? How did I get to this point in my life? You are fixing breakfast, breaking up a fight, keeping the toddler from climbing to their death, bouncing the infant, telling the older kids to get off the electronics; all while washing dishes and doing a load of laundry. One of many loads you will do that day. While you think, “Yep. I’m throwing in the towel and running away,” you won’t actually do that. As much as you are about to lose your mind you know you love this job too much.
Each person put on this earth was put here with a job in mind even before they were born. God knew exactly where he wanted them to be. Your job just happens to be Mother. He knows what you are capable of even if you don’t think you are. He will never give you more than you can handle. Saint Joan of Arc must have thought many times she wanted to throw in the towel when God told her to go fight the English. Of course she would of liked to have stayed at her mother’s side and learn to do motherly things but she knew her job was not that. As she stated, “Since God had commanded it, it was necessary that I do it. Since God commanded it, even if I had a hundred fathers and mothers, even if I had been a King’s daughter, I would have gone nevertheless.” It’s a job we must take seriously. It’s a job that our future relies on. It’s a job that was given specifically to you—the gift of nurturing the unique, unrepeatable souls under your care.
One moment comes to mind for me recently when I thought I couldn’t do it. My 6-year-old came home from Bible School with a broken foot. The very next day he became ill along with the 4-year-old. Just like clockwork, they all start falling. First the 20-month-old, then the 8-year-old, then the 10-year-old, and lastly, the second mommy, my 12-year-old daughter. All within 24 hours. Did I mention I’m also nursing my infant full-time? It can’t get worse, right? The devil must of been laughing. I get a call that my husband is in the hospital from an incident at work. That’s when you want to throw in the towel. “How can I be at home and the hospital all at once? Why did God give me so many kids? So many responsibilities? I can’t do this. I’m not cut out for this.” Thank the Lord Jesus I made it through. Thankfully, God gave me a support system, and I called on a friend who also was blessed with the job title Mother. She came to the rescue and helped do those motherly things I needed to do so I could be in two places at once. Here I am weeks later, and guess what? I’m alive! I’m still a mother. And it doesn’t seem all that bad now that I look back on it.
There is always something or someone that can help you. Even if you feel like there isn’t another mother out there to help, there is! Mother Mary is just a prayer away. A quick Hail Mary will calm your nerves and bring you back to reality so you can do that job you were gifted with. If you don’t have the answer, she does. She was in your shoes once too and understands more than you may realize. Many do.
Next time you are out, notice the other mothers. You will see they are fighting the same fight. They are trucking on just like you. You will see the mother at church wrestling the toddler. You will see the mother in the checkout line cutting up the sibling squabble. You will see the mother at the restaurant teaching her children to use inside voices. That’s not all you will see. You will realize there is more to mothering than the throw-in-the-towel moments. You will see the mother kissing the scrapes when their child fell down. You will see the mother cheering on their child as they score a goal. You will see the mother tearfully watching their teenager drive away for the very first time.
You see, that’s why mothers don’t give up. Don’t throw in the towel. Those wonderful, cheerful moments outweigh the bad way more than you could ever imagine. While they might seem big at the time, in a year’s time you won’t even remember them. It will be minuscule to the joy your children and family bring to you.
So kiss that skinned knee, cry those happy tears, and always remember God gave you a job worth more than anything in the world. Don’t take it for granted.
Ashley Tucker and her husband, Seth, have been married for 13 years. Her passion is being a mother. Ashley and Seth are parents of seven—Emery, 12, Bryson, 10, Anastyn 8, Finnley 7, Macon, 4, Gabriel, 1½, and Baby Therèse. Ashley, a stay at home mom, enjoys spending as much time as possible with her family. When she is not taking the children Mass, dropping them off at school, taking her girls to Irish dance classes, being soccer mom or playing with the toddlers, she loves to cook, read, and watch HGTV. Ashley enjoys contributing what she can to her favorite cause, Room At The Inn. This is her first year as a table host, and she has been eagerly awaiting Pam Tebow’s keynote address since we announced her as our speaker early this year. The Tuckers are parishioners at Our Lady of Grace Catholic Church in Greensboro.